"better to be around your own kind"

i was recently having a conversation with anita my girlfriend and we were speaking about the recent rash of people my parents had been hiring to come over to the house and do various things, first the lawn mowers, then the guy who sprayed all the lawn with chemicals, then the guy who got hired to fix the dish washer. all this going on, plus the mail man. anyhow all these peoplwe were white skinned, had a bit of a hostile posture and demeanor, both anita my white skinned girlfriend and i brown skinned noticed the same thing. these were people whom i and she had avoided growing up, the worst of the worst, the people who were so bad that you just instinctively knew to avoid them. however in this weird twist of fate, now my parents pay for their bread.

we're meant to sit in our basements while they roam free in our kitchens and yards, and i thought it was a strange thing to have such a situation be the case. i really dont think that these people really have any idea about what they do. they seem to just walk around angrily with this sort of paranoia and tenseness that you know is induced y the knowledge that brown skinned people live here. it isnt just brown skinned people, but a brown skinned man with a beard and a turban! such a fearful thing this must be to these white skinned simpletons. im not saying i have anything against white skinned people, but i think thebest way to refer to them is perhaps white skinned people instead of just calling them whites. but really they're more pink skinned, or creamish colored, than they are white. after all white is the absense of all color, and black is the existence of all of them. a black man is more brownish in skin tone, while a white woman is more pinkish reddish and cream colored in their skin tone. the words black and white are exaggerations, ones that lend to a tense world view, one im not really interested in entertaining.

im more of a relaxed guy, and as such like a relaxed point of view regarding the earth, life, and such. and when it comes to skin color, there's nothing right about calling someone BLACK. there is absolutely nobody who blends into the darkness of the night. the word itself is a lie. those people do not have black colored skin. ask any art teacher to pull out the color chart. refer if you like but common sense should hopefully draw you to the conclusion that indeed black people are mislabled and should be labeled dark-brown. and white people should be labeled creme-pink-red. indians are more brown-creme. at least i am.

another thing i want to deconstruct is the word indian. i am not of india. never born there, haven't lived there, i have no allegiance to the government of the region. whilst my parents lives began in those lands, my own did not. in fact i began life in wales in the united kingdom. if someone is going to label me as a countryman of some place, it should be a welshman. country ties dont extend beyond your birthday. they dont precede you. if you are born in a land, that land is your birth place. no assumption of my intentions, grey matter, the like, based upon my skin tone, will ever draw you to the point where you really have a good time with it.

i met an english woman yesterday, who actually said to me, yeah i imagine you have a hard time with it. i said yea, at least when she was speaking about the whole indian versus white situation in dayton. but yeah. thats the sort of thing that goes on. i personally hate the word indian. i have no tie to the country india. i have nothing to it at all. beyond forced-upon temple visits and language lessons, food tastings and cultural-gatherings, i am no more indian than any other person whose mildly tuned into the pop-culture-media-machine.

but back to the topic at hand, "your own kind" is something i find absolutely terrible. first of all is there really and kind which we cna call oru own. i mena yes perhaps ideologically we can. but physically, using the skin tone as a judge of character, is such a terribly inaccurate measure, and the things imposed upon peoples because of their skin tone are terrible institutions. but then i was thinking that perhaps if we even idenitified by our differences on an intellectual level, yes, the lines would be drawn in a color free manner, but the problems would still exist, albiet in a mixed skin mehtod but still a fight for the people to fight. something where sides would exist, opposed to one another. i'd rather break free of the system of infighting that's been imbued into the very fabric of humanity, looking back at man's recorded history, tale upon tale of conquest, assimilation, destruction, oppression, rebellion, overthrowings and independances, death and decay, explotion, stagnation, then overthrowals and renaissances. such a violent past man has behind it, a system of application of ideals over vast populations of people by the hands of few, boiling down to single individuals. imposing the will of one over many is never a good thing, hopefully we'll emerge from all of this wiser and more advanced in the future.