- intentional infliction of emotional distress
- more of a workplace crime
- dignity of work
- shattered by exploitation and mistreatment
http://www.errtravel.com/archive/20060127.htm - about staring
Here’s how it works. Except for narcissists, people generally feel uncomfortable when they are the object of sustained attention. They feel they are being scrutinized, which of course they are. That discomfort creates anxiety, and to relieve the anxiety, a person will likely change whatever miserable thing he is doing. He changes his behavior, and the stare ceases; his anxiety is relieved, and you’ve accomplished your objective. It’s a win-win situation.
http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/meridians/v004/4.1hai.html
"I hear so many familiar sub-texts burgeoning behind that question that a tart reply forms itself and leaves my tongue before I have fully processed either the situation or the wisdom of my answer. Underlying his question is first the obvious patriotic guilt-trip: why have you abandoned the soil [End Page 145] that nurtured you, to give of your learning to others, to that Western nation already saturated with brain power? Why not stay here where our need is greater? Implicit in it is also the woman guilt-trip: why are you not at home with your parents, serving family, community, nation—above and beyond your self? How can you live there, a woman alone, incomplete, unsheltered by a husband? The daughterly guilt trip: you should stay at home as is proper—for you are after all property—until you have been appropriately disposed of by parental agency into husbandly hands, instead of remaining that unspeakable burden, the unmarried daughter, undutifully obstructing your parents' function in life, which is to be relieved of you. Much remains unsaid on my part too, that must perforce remain unsaid. His desire for random exchange is incommensurate with my impulse to round on him with all the collected detritus of my years of struggle against familial and societal demands. Was he really prepared to hear my answer?"
this kindof makes me worried to ever study these kinds of things for fear of perhaps just thinking of them as static concepts and not anything that directly effect me. it seems she's a well studied feminist. these're classes i'm looking at with interest in CCSF.
also feminism seems more a source of anger for this person than a source of enlightenment that provides perhaps a sense of peace of mind, morseo just entrance to a whole new battleground that perhaps she felt she wasn't aware of before.
"An old trap, pitting devotion and self-sacrifice against self-interest"
nice.
"Yet, as the oldest daughter, I still carried the pain of knowing that because of my insistence on shaping my own life, and [End Page 148] because of my refusal to subordinate my intellectual self to the cultural expectation of marriage and progeny, my parents had been regularly mocked and humiliated for failing to control and appropriately dispose of me. My eventual "late" marriage to a non-Pakistani of my own choosing—my husband is a British national, of mixed European and South Asian descent—was still culturally coded as an embarrassment to which my suffering parents had had to reconcile themselves."
interesting.
"that a culture and country that did not treat its women with much respect should presume to demand that those very women return and devote themselves to a self-sacrificing patriotism. "
"For what had been bothering me throughout, I realized, was ultimately a matter of respect, or rather, of suffering continuous disrespect as a wom-an. I became aware of it the moment I arrived in Pakistan—it would descend upon me like a weight in the air, that subtle aura of dismissive-ness, that expectation that I must humble myself, and retreat to my proper "place." "
you know this makes me think that perhaps this sort of thing seems to sort of lead towards a comparison between her treatment there and my treatment here. i would almost say that i get the same sort of treatment here as she does there. exactly so, really. it's kindof strange and sad really.
"And yet inevitably, as is the case with family reunions, old histories and unresolved tension points created minefields amidst the celebration."
this's rediculously awesome
http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/meridians/v004/4.1hai.html
check it out.
